Dear %$firstname$%, If you've ever taken care of an elderly person, you know the feeling of guilt over never being able to do enough for them as they linger in a deteriorating state. This week's I Listen to Spirit Blog is on Elder-care Guilt. Dear Guides, I'm watching my elderly relative go downhill in a nursing home, only perking up when I visit. How important is it that I try to spend more time with her? Excerpt from Minda Bernstein's channeling on 6.9.2010: Dear Ones, "The elderly are on a timeline of their own. Actual moments, hours, weeks, months do not have the importance you may be attaching to them. Here is where the phrase "give or take a little" comes to the fore. "There is a wide range of possible moments to exit from the Earth experience, and it is not so precise as you are looking at it. If the person goes now or if they hang on for more months or years, it does not change tremendously their outcome and learning. "Yes, certainly if events occur, things shift for the soul. But it is a lot like when you are preparing something and have a number of tasks to accomplish. . . . "On the one hand, you may be thinking everything has to get done today (in this lifetime, before death), but maybe there are things that can be done on future occasions you can't be aware of, or perhaps they don't even need to be accomplished at all. "All this to say that your lives are much less driven by things you "should" and "need to" complete than you may be aware of. "When you decide how much to be involved in someone's life, such as this elderly person, it is much more important to weigh the impact it has on your own sense of self than on theirs. Do you enjoy the meetings? Do you feel it is important for you to fulfill what you consider to be a choice you make because of your belief system? Do you feel a more whole and complete and fulfilled person by carrying out visits that you feel support your value system? . . . "We would love it if we could inspire you to cut yourselves some slack and reduce the expectations you place on yourselves to impact your world, your lives and those lives around you. Know that you will succeed in inner ways even more when you relieve the stress you place on yourselves to accomplish, achieve, be everything to everyone, etc. . . . "Your life will develop its own vitality, which is much more important for you to achieve than attempting to affect others' vitality." Very comforting. This answer continues in Minda's "Dear Guides" Journal. Join "Dear Guides" by clicking the button at right. We decided to start including a way for you to get the full channeling if you are particularly interested in a certain subject. So for today's issue of "Dear Guides" Journal, you would enter "38. Visiting the Elderly" in the Paypal box below. Feel free to order a past issue using the same button if you wish. One issue (usually 4-5 pages long) is $3. Special bonus: Today's "Dear Guides" Journal includes a second, extra channeling for further clarification on the subject. "Is the elderly person going downhill in agony or not? What is it like for them to have their lights dimmed with age?" Journal Number & Title Here is a picture of my studio (the pouring one - I have another studio for easel work) with some paintings in process. (Okay, it's at a woozy angle.) The painting on the table is called, "Me First." See a detail below. Does that title, "Me First," make you shake your head and say, "Selfish, selfish"? I wonder why taking care of ourselves first is considered impolite? Of course, we do it all the time; we just don't like to admit it. That's what is so helpful about the guides' answer above; it really examines the question of what our duty is. Actually, this title came from a recent realization. My schedule was piling up with pressing obligations - projects for others, which I liked - but I found myself starting to get resentful that they were keeping me out of the studio. Then it dawned on me that perhaps I was using them - or had even attracted them - as an excuse not to face the challenges of going in the studio. So I rearranged my days and headed for the studio first. By giving myself the time and permission to take care of my number one priority, doing other people's projects in-between and afterwards was more like play, like taking a break. I've become more cheerful with better vibes! With love, Julie Julie Bernstein Engelmann Email: julie@julieengelmann.com P.S. We hope you will post your comments on the blog. P.P.S. You are welcome to share this Beauty & Spirit Note with friends! P.P.P.S. Friends, you can sign up yourself at any of the sites below. Welcome to the Beauty & Spirit Note! Sign up & click to past issues. Julie's artist site: www.JulieEngelmann.com Minda Bernstein's channeling site: I Listen to Spirit Frank Butterfield co-produced with Julie: A Communion of Light: Creating Money The Beauty & Spirit email list is housed securely on the email server of my husband Chip Engelmann's site, www.ChipEFT.com, using his autoresponder program. © 2010 Julie Bernstein Engelmann and Minda Bernstein